Josh Strebel, Sean Tierney and Andrew Hyde put together a brilliant panel at SXSW on how to really tank if you own a start-up. Between them they've screwed up more companies than you think would be possible:
Developing the habits, culture and finance of failure is not easy. Here are some things you need to know before you start:
1) Start-ups are hard
2) Start-ups fail
3) Start-ups destroy relationships
If you can't be bother to start your own here some tips to find the right company to join:
1) Find a company with no vowels
2) Hired on equity
3) Large team didn't vest
4) CEO demands everything yesterday
5) Non-profits are like start-ups with more paperwork
Here are some ways to ensure you tank, a weapons grade opportunity to fail:
1) Go to loads of interactive festivals and conferences
2) Buy Aeron chairs
3) Give employees cash, equity, bonuses and expense accounts
4) Spam all your customers to death
5) Hand over the reins to someone without a clue
6) Over-engineer everything and build more than you need
7) Seek growth before profitability (big failures are ever worse)
8) Establish culture of subservience
9) Disregard cashflow
10) Show nothing to anyone
11) Have an exit plan
12) NDA
13) Funding should be your exit plan
14) Theme weeks for the office
15) Forget your purpose
16) Launch under funded
17) Micromanage your team. Make your team fearful
18) Be the King. Everyone knows who's in charge
19) Believe the dreamkillers
20) Buy another failing company
21) Focus on 3rd world countries with no internet access
"A way to wallpaper your house with stock options as you are being evicted"- Steve Jobs
"Something that makes you buy my book"- Guy Kawasaki
"A fairy tale, but instead of pricesses and ahppily ever after you have smelly developers and 3 years off your life"- Mark Zuckerberg
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